How to Tell if Your Boyfriend’s a Zombie

zombielove

This Cosmo style quiz is presented for your enjoyment and in conjunction with the newest release by Ravenous Romance, Hungry for Your Love, the first ever zombie romance anthology. Now if you’re like me you’ve probably noticed some strange things about your boyfriend. You’re pretty certain he’s not a vampire or werewolf (some heroines just have all the luck), but is he part of the undead populace? Take this quiz to find out!

1)     On the first date, he makes a move on you and you notice:

  • His teeth are yellow, like he smokes a lot. There’s also some red stuff stuck in them.
  • His skin is cold, almost too cold. Perhaps deathly cold?
  • His cologne is kind of funky. It smells like rotting eggs. Phew.

2)      When you get naked for the first time:

  • He’s covered in discolorations. It’s weird but you figure he’s just been in a fight.
  • He doesn’t seem overly interested in your body. He just wants to pick your brain.
  • He’s not very talkative, but he does like to say repeatedly, “Mine.”

3)      A typical Saturday you can find him:

  • Doing household chores on autopilot so he can get out sooner to play a pick-up game.
  • Acting like a bum and doing what he always does, hang out with the guys.
  • On the couch. All he does is watch TV and mindlessly eat chips.

4)     If you’re really honest, your boyfriend dresses like:

  • A rock star; his clothes are better than yours.
  • A business man, because he knows you have this thing for ties.
  • A corpse; really you don’t think he even notices how tattered his shirt is.

5)      Your boyfriend’s sense of smell:

  • Is really keen. He can smell brains a mile away.
  • Is off, but it’s probably just that 24 hr virus everyone has. He’ll be fine.
  • He has none. You swear he can’t smell himself, but you can. Gross.

6)       How many hours a day does he spend watching TV?

  • Hardly ever, he spends his time doing other things.
  • Same as you do you as you like all the same shows.
  • Every waking minute, if it weren’t for commercials the house would never be silent.

7)      Does he notice when you dress up for him?

  • Yes, he comments on everything. Isn’t he the best?
  • Sometimes he notices if you wear something new.
  • Only when you show too much flesh.
  • I could wear a sack and he wouldn’t notice.

8)      Is he adventurous in his eating habits?

  • He’ll try anything once, especially if it’s raw.
  • Monkey brains are his favorite.
  • As long as it’s pizza/take out.
  • He thinks spaghetti and meatballs is gourmet food.

9)    How’s his conversation?

  • Fascinating. He’s always up to date about everything from politics to art.
  • In the middle. He’s not a sparkling conversationalist, but he’s not a dead bore either.
  • Yawn. There’s no life there. He tells the same stories over and over again.

10)    How’s your sex life together?

  • He wears me out on a nightly basis. Jealous?
  • Sometimes it’s great; sometimes not so much.
  • It’s bad and rotting at the core. Every night is like a dead repeat.

First answer = 1 points
Second answer = 2 points
Third answer = 3 points
Fourth answer = 3 points

  • 1-10: He’s a lively one, which means your boyfriend isn’t a zombie – good for you both!
  • 11-20: He might be zombie-like at times but your boyfriend’s not one of the undead.
  • 20+: Get away quick and wear a construction hat! Your boyfriend’s a zombie!

How did your boyfriend do? Is he a zombie?

Hungry For Your Love cover

Hungry for Your Love Synopsis:

Zombies are everywhere. You can’t escape. So you might as well fall in love.

In the pages of HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE, the very first zombie romance anthology ever, you’ll find romantic stories about loving a zombie, love stories between zombies and a tale of love and lust during the zombie Apocalypse. There are funny zombie stories, a zombie story that will make you cry, and even a few that might make you blush. We have zombie noir and zombie paranormal romance. You will be amazed at the scope of zombie lovin’. There’s something for everyone in this star-studded collection, including stories by New York Times best-selling authors John Skipp (writing as Gina McQueen) and Brian Keene.

Giveaway: One spooky commenter will win a copy of Hungry for Your Love. To enter share your zombie boyfriend story! Ends at the stroke of midnight US Pacific Time! 😉 Happy Halloween!

Photo Credits: http://commons.wikimedia.org/

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6 Comments

  1. I got an 11-20: He might be zombie-like at times but your boyfriend’s not one of the undead.

    I guess thats better than being a complete zombie. LOL

    Thanks for the quiz that was fun!!

  2. Alicia Hall

    Happy Halloween Everyone. It sure is a great one because I just found out that my husband is NOT a Zombie. Wooo I was worried there for a little bit 🙂

    I got 1-10: He’s a lively one, which means your boyfriend isn’t a zombie – good for you both!

  3. Virginia C

    I have suspected this for ages! He’s a real stiff. I mean from head to toe! Speaking of toes, I think a few of his have just fallen off somewhere. He doesn’t seem to notice. He won’t make eye contact anymore. As a matter of fact, the sockets are still there…but the eyes, oh, the eyes! Lack of personal hygiene has become a very big issue. He was never leading man material in the looks department, but his sweetness and charm made think he was handsome! Now, he looks and smells like a landfill! I tried to break it off and date others, but they all disappeared one by one! He’s the only one who’s stayed by my side! At least no one bothers me! I’ve never had to worry about pesky door to door salesmen! Another good thing, my parents don’t drop in unexpectedly, and my brother stopped trying to borrow money all the time. I try to look on the bright side and focus on the positive. He’s very loyal and never shows interest in women! I tried to make myself as unattractive as possible and didn’t bathe for a while, but that seemed to turn him on! Do you think a zombie woman could lure him away? Please!

  4. He scored a 19, so I guess he’s not quite a zombie, though I’m curious as to whether he’s headed in that direction or away from it. Sometimes it would be a vast improvement. lol

    Deidre

  5. I know how you feel, guys, I’ve been dating a zombie for the last three years! My friends and I even call him “zombie” – and he responds to that name… It’s not that he is lifeless or boring – far from it – but he LOOKS like a zombie – in fact we are always saying he should get the main part in a horror movie – he wouldn’t need a mask!

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