Life Lessons as Learned from Romance: Finding Your Partner

jadedGuest post by Ember Leigh, author of Jaded

My name is Ember Leigh, and I’m the author of Jaded from Breathless Press. I write contemporary erotic romance that usually features a lot of emotional conflict as one or both characters struggle to come to terms with being in a relationship.

That sounds like a lot of stories, right? It’s true, romance novels tend to address specific emotional issues (not to mention the sexual aspect) and they typically end HEA or HFN. It’s part of what we love about it – we can count on the arc! But throughout the years, I’ve noticed that romance novels have something very specific to say about that eventual romantic partner.

No, I don’t mean that romances are telling us that this eventual partner is impossibly sculpted and divinely sunkissed and lights a fire worthy of three fire departments in the nether regions. We’d all like that though, right?

Really, I think romance novels are secretly giving us clues about how to find our one and only.

Plenty of readers come to romance novels as an outlet within very happy marriages, but plenty of other readers are single and looking. Perhaps romance novels can help us learn how to, in effect, bring this heavenly-bodied, dangerous-fire-lighting creature to our front doors.

If you can’t read the romance genre like a secret treasure map, don’t worry. I’ve cracked the code and I’ll share with you all of my totally-proven-this-is-backed-by-science-I-swear theories.

What Romance Novels Suggest We Do In Order to Lure ‘The Mate’:

  1. Break up with your shitty ex-boyfriend. This is a great rule for life in general – clearing out the old to make way for the new. And hopefully the new is impossibly toned, amazing in the kitchen and loves whispering in your ear about poetry — or whatever it is that gets your motor running.
  2. Make a vow to never date men again. This might not be the most psychologically healthy response to life situations, but it’s certainly something that happens. Maybe it lasts for a week – maybe for 15 minutes. Regardless, after a certain degree of heartbreak or heart strain, it feels almost smart to plant that foot and say “Men, never again.” Isabella does this in my novel Jaded – and months later, Luke shows up at her door. (Science!)
  3. Do what you love. Get totally lost in your passion and livelihood. As the saying goes, “If you are looking for the love of your life, stop. They will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.” And lots of romance heroine’s find love exactly when they least expect it – because they’re just doing what they do –loving, living, and totally rocking.
  4.  Get trapped someplace. In a snow storm, on a remote island, in an airport, even in an abandoned well. Getting trapped is usually a sure first sign that the love of your life is right around the corner. He might save you, he might ignore you, he might resent you for being the cause of being trapped in the first place – but by god, love and sparks aren’t far away.
  5. Start an epic journey. This might be to a different galaxy, historical time travel, a different continent or simply a road trip. No matter the time or place, epic journeys are a great way to stimulate true love and ensure that a delightful partner crosses paths with you. They’re also a great way to introduce really inventive ways for having sex – in zero gravity, horse-and-carriage trips through 1800’s Ireland, or on top of an RV lost in the Badlands.

In your life or favorite novels, what helped attract that delightful hero and those dangerous flames of desire?



Book Blurb:

When a construction crew shows up at Isabella’s house for a remodel, she never imagined it would include her love life, too.

After one too many broken hearts, Isabella has sworn off love…and men altogether. When hunky Luke shows up to remodel her house and starts coming on to her hard, she’s sure he’s just a player using the wrong head. With Luke, however, Isabella quickly learns there’s more than meets the eye. Will she let her guard down and let him in, or will she be forever Jaded?

Buy: Jaded

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  1. Thanks for having me on your blog! 🙂

    • Glad to have you! I like the vowing off men life lesson because I think it is really about vowing off the wrong men. It opens the way up for the right men (man).

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