Unanswered Harry Potter Question #12: How did Lily and James Potter thrice defy Voldemort?

(This article is humorous, not factual.)

Everyone thought Trelawney was a hack, but she knew better. She’s predicted several prophecies and to date they’ve all come true. She might not remember giving them, but that’s why she had a voice activated Quick Quotes Quill. It would record her whenever she spoke and later she could read over the scrolls and consult her crystal ball or teacup depending on what was called for to pick apart the prophecy.

Long before Dumbledore returned to Hogwarts that day way back when and before Snape could Apparate to the Dark Lord to reveal what he’d heard, Trelawney had scanned her QQQ notes and hurriedly unpacked a stack of yellowing Daily Prophets while drinking a cup of super hot tea. By the time she was done, she knew without a doubt in her mind that Voldemort would pick the Potters to attack because of how Lily and James thrice defied him. Her tea stained notes read:

Longbottoms:

  1. Alice single handedly stops Voldemort’s campaign to rewrite existing Muggle friendly laws and pass new Anti-Muggle laws. Voldemort attributes this win to Dumbledore’s machinations.
  2. Frank hits him with a trip jinx in a duel, but as it happened while Apparating, Voldemort figured his just twisted his ankle while turning.
  3. Lastly they refused his overtures to make them Death Eaters and joined Dumbledore’s camp instead. Voldemort figured this made them weak and stupid, but not particularly threatening.

Potters:

  1. First, James ridiculed his patent snake skin shoes. Clearly Voldemort won’t understand the inherent ick factor involved as he would continue to wear them until the bitter end…
  2. Then the pair created Voldemort is a Moldy Wart magical buttons and handed them out in the streets at Diagon Alley with James’ Hogwarts ragtag loser friends. For free! As if you could entertain yourself so cheaply at the Dark Lord’s expense. If they had cost a galleon he might have been mollified.
  3. Finally, and this is what sealed their fate, they forgot to send Voldemort a birthday card, to celebrate his first “I’m never going to get old!” party. They hadn’t even bothered to RSVP! Lily meant to do so and declined, but she never got around to it.

Potters = Lights Out… o.O

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